It's hard for me to resist being jealous of other people's businesses. But jealousy hasn't helped me create a healthy business or helped me become who I want to be. It’s difficult to resist jealousy, but it’s so important to fight it because it’s so destructive. Below are 5 thoughts that may help you to resist jealousy and even celebrate others’ successes:
1. Jealousy destroys your view of yourself and your business, which in turn hurts you and your business
Jealousy is displeasure with your own qualities due to comparing yourself to others. Inaccurately assessing yourself in comparison with others can lead to self-loathing and a lack of motivation because you don't believe you can do well. When I’m jealous, I spend too much time watching what someone else is doing and becoming depressed about how I'm not like them, instead of working hard to use my talents to better the world. This ruins both me and my business.
The key to breaking this discontentment with ourselves is knowing that we all have unique talents, abilities and creativity that are valuable and needed. Just because someone has success in one area doesn’t mean you can’t be successful in your area. We each have unique talents and we make a difference in the world when pursue our own talents instead of longing to have someone else's.
2. Jealousy destroys the lifeblood of business
Connections and relationships are the lifeblood of business. But jealousy tears away healthy relationships. When we are jealous, we miss out on growing relationships with people. We miss out on celebrating others’ successes with them. Through this we hurt them, our businesses and ourselves.
3. Jealousy destroys opportunities to learn
If we view someone as successful, we should try to learn from them. But when we are jealous, we generally don’t try to learn. When I’m jealous, I don’t feel like being vulnerable and positioning myself as a student, but that is the one thing I should be doing. Jealousy has to be set aside in favor of humility, so we can learn from those we deem successful.
4. You may be Jealous for no reason
Business success isn’t difficult to front, at least in the short-term. More businesses than you may think have a successful appearance on the outside but are a struggling, unethical mess on the inside. Jealousy comes from a perception we make of another's success. There’s a chance that the success we're jealous of is actually a front - so we shouldn't really be jealous. If you are jealous and your perception is inaccurate, then you’ve incurred all the ill-effects of jealousy for no reason. Remember, you could be wrong about what you perceive, so there may be no reason to feel jealous at all.
5. How you define success affects your likelihood for jealousy
If you define success as a destination then you will always be jealous of those who have reached it already. It's in our human nature to desire growth and when we reach one destination, we long for another. Jealousy will follow each new goal unless you know success isn't a place you arrive at. Success is when you're content in the journey.
Creating a healthy business requires that jealousy is removed. If left untreated, it can infect your otherwise healthy business and cause your entire entity to suffer. As hard as jealousy can be to resist, the benefits of eliminating it are great. Let it go. You and your business will be healthier for it.
As an aside: Our struggle with jealousy lies in our inaccurate perspective of who we are and of what success is. A week ago I thought about how cool it would be if you could have an outsider observe your life and tell you how awesome you are (kind of like It’s a Wonderful Life). Would you like that? If you’re jealous and feeling down on yourself and don't want to stay there, I'd be happy to help by giving you my honest opinion on how awesome you are. Simply email me by clicking the mail symbol below or tweet me by clicking the birdie. Either way, know that you are unique and needed. Seriously.