Divorcing My Value From My Work

They sneak around together behind my back. I have been really intentional about keeping them apart before. But they get together when I’m not paying attention. They started hooking up and before I knew it they were married. I actually figured out they were married when some things changed and I tried to divorce them.  

It’s really freaking dangerous when my value hooks up with my work. We all struggle with it. Many even encourage it. But it’s a slippery slope. We were never meant to marry our value to our work.

Our work changes. Circumstances change. People change. Markets change. Management changes. Winds blow one way, then another. Entropy is natural. Work is not dependable. Our ability to work is not always in our control.

Placing our value in something that changes is like building a house on a sand dune - not safe for the house.

So what’s the best way to keep my value from hooking up with my work? Marrying my value to another, more faithful, caring lover. 

Where's the poop?

It's been since last August since I've posted here (though I have been still posting over at Successful Blog).

Have you ever noticed that when we don't do something we know we should (like post on your blog, go to the gym or say hi to the maintenance guy) for an extended period of time, it gets harder and weirder to just do it? And worse, we just try to ignore it. When it pops up in our brains, we try to stuff it back down under other errands. And eventually we feel like we've let it go too long and it'd just be awkward if we said hi to the maintenance guy now. 

But sometimes it's what we need to do. 

Have you ever seen a How I Met Your Mother episode where Lily asks "Where's the poop?" She says it when she knows someone is hiding something. She calls it out. We all kind of need our own Lily or to be our own Lily. Instead of mentally hiding stuff we know we should do but haven't done, we just need to confront it. Bring it out and deal with it. 

And so, that's what I'm doing with this post. And you should probably say hi to the maintenance guy already (or is that something just I need to do). 

Yes, but simpler - Part 1: Your Offerings

Simplicity has value because time is our most precious resource. The simpler something is, the faster we can understand it and make a decision about it.**

When I see a business that has a simple, easy-to-understand concept, I can quickly assess its value to me and whether I’m going to buy-in or not. On the other hand, if a business has an overly complicated concept, I might become unsure about its focus and what it actually does. At the very minimum this will delay my decision to buy in, at the worst, the complexity would deter me completely.

In this series, we’re going to look at making our businesses simpler. But why should we want to simplify our businesses?  The motivation for decisions in our business should always be the same: sustainably serving others. So, for this series, I offer this as our core motivator:

To serve customers excellently by saving them time, mental energy and potentially money.

Now that we have our motivation clear, let’s focus on today’s task - simplifying our offerings. 

Making decisions is exhausting. And it takes time. The easier and faster the decision, the better. What is one way to make decisions easier? Decrease the options. 

So we can serve our customers better by making our offerings simpler. Maybe you have a fully customizable service right now. That may serve some of your customers well, but others may appreciate a tiered service or preset packages. 

A while ago, I was making wedding cakes for friends and family. During the planning process, I would ask them so many open-ended questions to make sure I was making exactly what they wanted. I soon realized that the questions themselves were a burden. It would have been much better if I had some preset ideas written down and let them choose between them. 

Think about when you go to a restaurant - sometimes you want to build your own burger and sometimes you just want to defer to their best seller. Having pre-packaged options saves customers time and mental energy. An great example of this is the Blaze Pizza menu. It offers a simplified concept with preset “signature” pizzas as well as a build-your-own feature. This allows customers to easily select a signature option or decide if they want to put in the extra effort and build their own. Not only does this simplified concept serve the customer well, it also allows a streamlined process for those serving customers. 

The most gratifying work we can do is that which serves others. So let’s examine our offerings and thoughtfully package up some options for customers. It will serve customers by saving them time and mental energy.  And if we complete the service well, I think they’ll be more likely to come back too…  

**Note this thought process shouldn’t be applied to people. We are not simple. We are complex wonders that shouldn’t be treated as simplified objects to be used. Simplifying people --> dehumanizing and/or stereotyping --> devaluing others

For more on simplicity:

• Not sure less is more? Too Many Choices: A Problem That Can Paralyze is a great NYT article that may convince you.
• Just starting out and you don't want to simplify but rather you want to do all the things? Hold up - You Can Always Expand.

5 Questions With Debbie From The Cow

The Cow is a family-owned ice cream and burger institution on Rt 56 in Alum Bank, PA. It was my first “real” job and I learned many vital lessons working there. Not only did I learn the value of customer service and excellent product quality, but I had a front-row seat to the Claycombs’ incredible work ethic. The only notable downside of me working at The Cow was that I ate my way through my paychecks as I indulged my sweet tooth. 

I mean, c'mon, how could I not love this place?

Debbie was my main, day-to-day boss and a second-generation Claycomb. Her dad, Stanley and her mom, Dale, started The Cow. They all were excellent people to work for. I look up to Debbie a lot and was excited when she agreed to an interview. Her words hold a lot of wisdom. I hope you savor them as much as you'd savor an ice cream cone on a hot day in August.

The Interview:

1. How many years have you worked at/run The Cow? 

I first started working at The Cow when I was 13 years old and continued until I graduated high school.  I came back to work at The Cow in 1998 after living in New Jersey for 20 years. My interim profession was a florist.  My former husband and I owned and operated five flower shops as well as a design school.  So my current run is 17 years.

2. What has been the most valuable lesson you've learned in that time?

When I first started as the manager, I think I was high strung and had an attitude, maybe that came from living in New Jersey, but nevertheless I think I thought I knew it all, having already owned five flower shops.  My Dad taught me that there were ways to accomplish the desired results with a more diplomatic approach.  He never lectured me. I learned by example in how he would handle certain issues and get the exact results I was looking for without being demanding or getting angry with someone.  He taught me that I needed to step back and get a different perspective. He also taught me that instead of forcing the issues, give things a little time and see how situations often times played out on their own without a lot of conflict.  He also placed great emphasis on the customer. Making sure they would be able to afford the products we sold - even to the extent that he took less profit in order to do so.  He wasn't out to make a killing in money. He wanted to offer a fun place to go have a burger and some ice cream for the community. I have continued to follow his policy and found ways to be profitable as well.  The parking lot is always full so I think he got that right!

3. What is something others would be surprised to know about your experience in business?

Perhaps that my real profession was a florist! I'm self taught and I never planned to be in the food industry but sometimes life takes you down a road you hadn't planned on... that's what happened to me.

4. Working with family can be hard at times. What has been most helpful in maintaining healthy relationships and a healthy business?

We have broad shoulders. We get very busy and things get hectic so when it ramps up, there is a chance that it’s going to get a little hairy in the kitchen or in the ice cream part.  We bark orders and make demands but in the end when we close the door and go home all is forgotten and tomorrow is a new day.  We don't take things that happen at work personally. We know that it is the nature of the beast, so to speak, and ultimately we as a family are all driven by the success we have and that is our top priority.  Our desire to continue our parents legacy is what keeps us balanced and focused.  We all contribute in different segments of the business for the benefit of the whole. As a family, our parents instilled in us that family is the most important thing; that we can have disagreements but in the end when somebody needs something we will always be there for each other and work together.  

5. Where do you find your motivation to stay in it when times are hard? 

My motivation comes from honoring my mom and dad.  I wanted to work in the business again and my dad gave me the chance.  However, the title manager didn’t come with it. He told me that he was still the boss! I took on more and more responsibilities as time passed and spent more time there as well.   I worked to prove myself and help mom and dad improve on finances as well as other issues that seemed to be holding the business back.  They began to rely on me heavily in the later years and I never wanted to let them down.  I promised I would keep The Cow going and not let anything happen to it. My daughter has stepped in to help as well with the same dedication and love for what they created.  She has taken the marketing/public relations/IT part to a whole new level for us and it is exciting to see the response from that. The volume of business we have is rewarding and greatly appreciated.  So when I get frustrated with employees not doing their job, inventory not coming in, or from being so tired that I don't know which end is up, I remind myself that we are a success and very much loved by our customers; and that is a phenomenal tribute to mom and dad. 

I admire Debbie's selfless motivation to honor her parents. I'm so thankful for all the wisdom and humility she shared. Also, it’s really encouraging to hear her commitment to work out the second generation of quality, community-serving business at The Cow. 

The Cow really is a wonderful establishment - check them out on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook. Even if you don’t live in the area, the deliciousness of their photos may be enough to lure you into a road trip. 

Dealing with Anxiety - for Business Owners & Humans In General

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV, so take this with a grain of salt. This is for informational purposes only and is my personal experience.

Happiness based on ignorance is fleeting; but joy based on truth is sustaining.

I have experienced anxiety and depression. More this past winter than I have in 14 years.

And it’s not easy and it’s not pretty.

But the reality of it is, I’m glad that I dig in and deal with it. It’s better than numbing and waiting for it to resurface later. 

I think a lot of us are happy based on our circumstances. We bury the things that bother us and live in the physical. The surface-y. The tasks. Then something comes along and blindsides us and our ability to keep it all locked in (nice and tight) is torn from us. And our insides are now on the surface and we have to deal with it. 

It’d be much better if our peace was based on something unchangeable, wouldn’t it?

It’d be so nice if we didn’t feel like we had to run to numbing agents. 

It’d be so nice if we could live life with our hearts, our hope, our value, our purpose based on something that would always satisfy.

I want something, someone, who will last forever. I want someone who will love me, unending, forever. I want something even death can’t end. 

And I’ve found it. In Jesus. 

Yeah, I dropped that bomb. 

And I don’t want to be a pusher. You know I can’t stand spam. I want everyone to choose whatever they choose because they’ve thought critically about it. Because they trust and believe in it for themselves.

Yet, here I am with gold. I know, now more than ever, how much it’s needed. And I can’t sit here and hold it away from you. 

Jesus isn’t some magic bullet that kills all the pain, forever. Hardly. But He is there. And sometimes that’s more than enough. “Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from Your presence?” (Psalm 139:7) 

The reality of it is, is that I can’t write about how to deal with anxiety without explaining to you the only thing that has brought me hope, peace and comfort in my life. It is Him. 

It’s not a set of prayers. It’s not attending church. It’s not a routine. 

There are things that have helped ease symptoms in my life - like waking up earlier, running, music and writing. But if I rely on those alone, I still feel the fear, despair and hopelessness continue to hum below the surface.

But God sparks hope. He gives me truth that contradicts all the lies I’ve internalized, relied on and lived by. I don’t have to become them anymore. I am free with His truth.

And so, this post is nothing but an offering to you. 

It’s not a contract. It’s not a standard. It’s not dogmatic. It’s simply an offer of my experience.

You have a different life than me. I can’t comprehend what it’s like to experience your life. But I do know who is there for me. And so I just wanted to let you know he is there for you too.

Because it’s really freaking hard and scary to base your worth, your purpose, your hope and your peace on something that may not last - like a business, a relationship or family. 

I want something that’s forever. Thank God He found me.

***Though God and his truth has been VITAL to me in my life, I’m not downplaying the potential need for medicines. I’ve read and agree with some stuff from Jamie - the very worst missionary and I totally get that sometimes your biology gets jacked and meds are needed. 

What I Know & What I don't - A short list

1. It’s been 1 (calendar) year since I’ve starting writing on here. 
2. Things will be (at least somewhat) different going-forward on this-here blog. You can’t really take a month hiatus and not re-evaulate and change, right?
3. This Week’s Gold is going to be different and/or eliminated. I’m thinking This Month’s Gold is a possibility. It’s not that I don’t want to share quality content, it’s that I want to limit the stream of voices in my head, so I need to cut down on the endless Internet click-bait to do so.
4. I’ve been all over the place with writing this past year, mostly worried about what ya’ll (yes, the South is wearing me down) think of me & what you want to read. I now feel like screw that, I’m going to write what I want to, or rather what I think I should, instead of writing out of fear of what you want/think. (Plus, I haven’t done a good job pleasing you this past year anyhow, so why not try something else?)
5. I still love quotes. I don’t know if that means they’ll still be weekly, but they’ve gotta make an appearance, because I so respect people that can concisely cut to my heart with a single line.
6. The older I get, the shorter the list gets of things I’m absolutely sure of. 
7. I still love writing. I’ve missed it. I need it. This is my therapy. 
8. Approx. 1-3 people actually care about anything I’ve written in points 1-7. And that’s okay, because sometimes you just need to pour yourself out, whether anyone values it or not.

Tolino -  out.

Communication & July Hiatus

I think communication is really important. Like, paramount. 

I’ve had so many experiences where communication has dispelled fears, healed relationships and built beautiful things. Without communication, things get weird or worse. It’s guaranteed. Because instead of knowing where someone is coming from, we just assume. Which never goes well.

So, I want to communicate where I’m coming from…

I started out almost a year ago doing small business consulting and writing this blog. And I’ve loved it. I still do. But I’ve changed a lot along the way. And recently, understanding love and sacrifice has been a big part of it. 

I want to give as I’ve been generously given to. I think I’m just beginning to understand the importance of humility and sacrifice for others. I want to understand and explore love and sacrifice more. Not in the interwebs. But in real, face-to-face life.

Additionally, I’ve been struggling to separate my value from my work. My value isn’t determined by my performance. I know it. But it’s a struggle.

Plus, I have a heap of beautiful faces to see and spend time with this month. I don’t want to miss a second of opportunity to love them.

All this adds up to me taking a July hiatus from this-here blog. It’s happening.

I also invite you to explore love, sacrifice and where your value is tied this month as well.

Leave me any questions or thoughts & have a wonderful month friends!

Investing in your most valuable assets

A lesson about shrewd business from an ancient parable:

“Jesus told his disciples: “There was a rich man whose manager was accused of wasting his possessions. So he called him in and asked him, ‘What is this I hear about you? Give an account of your management, because you cannot be manager any longer.’

“The manager said to himself, ‘What shall I do now? My master is taking away my job. I’m not strong enough to dig, and I’m ashamed to beg— I know what I’ll do so that, when I lose my job here, people will welcome me into their houses.’

“So he called in each one of his master’s debtors. He asked the first, ‘How much do you owe my master?’

“‘Nine hundred gallons of olive oil,’ he replied.

“The manager told him, ‘Take your bill, sit down quickly, and make it four hundred and fifty.’

“Then he asked the second, ‘And how much do you owe?’

“‘A thousand bushels of wheat,’ he replied.

“He told him, ‘Take your bill and make it eight hundred.’

“The master commended the dishonest manager because he had acted shrewdly. ”

— Luke 16:1-8

Though the manager wasn’t trustworthy in how he cared for his master’s assets, he understood this one simple truth - investing in relationships is key.

He gave people a break on their debts so that they’d take care of him when he lost his job. His motivation to invest in relationships was selfish. Even though he did it selfishly, he demonstrated how valuable this truth was to his life. 

No organization, business or asset moves itself. People move them. So it makes sense that we should focus on investing in relationships, not in things, right?

Yet, relationships are difficult to prioritize. Relationships easily take a backseat to our tasks, don’t they? 

Even greater than that, the risk is bigger when we invest in relationships. People can up and leave and take our hearts with them. 

But this I know without a doubt, a life lived investing in others is beautiful. 

Knowing you’ve served and loved and cared for others is gratifying.

It’s still hard. It’s hard to put your tasks aside to riskily invest in people. But time and time again, I’m convinced that it’s worth it - not just from a gratifying, moral standpoint, but also from a business one.

Our tasks only have meaning because they are serving people. It reminds me of the first episode of The Last Man on Earth - what’s the point of your tasks, unless you are serving people with them? 

Let's not miss opportunities to invest in relationships because we're too task-oriented.

After all, the tasks only have purpose because of people.

Let's prioritize the most valuable assets we possess - relationships. 

Make More Than Money

We know money is a tool. And we know we shouldn't just be trying to make money. Yet, we get lost in that pursuit sometimes, don't we?

We need to pay attention to money to ensure our business can sustainably function. We need to pay attention to it to ensure we are using it, as a tool, to the best of our ability.

But when we become fixated on making money alone, our businesses will soon feel the effects. If we are fixated on making money, we won't necessarily consider making the best solutions for customers. Instead, we will likely make decisions based only on the potential for (usually short-term) cash.

There are so many factors for us to consider when making decisions. Let's not make decisions based only on making money, otherwise we may end up with poor businesses, indeed.

This Week's Gold

This Week's Gold is a curated collection of fresh gold I pick up as I travel around the Internet each week. I share it to help you create a healthy business and life. 

THIS WEEK'S GOLD:

• While on the prowl for some solid business quotes this week, I found Bruce Kasanoff's gem Beware: Every Wise Quote Has An Opposite Quote. It has me questioning my Monday ritual. Ah, I do love a good quote though...
• Are you having a hard time filling a position? Julia Weeks offers 4 Creative Ways to Broadcast Your Open Job Positions. I think #1 is underutilized and yet makes so much sense. Especially because your social media followers are already interested in your business. 
• The tragedy of small expectations (and the trap of false dreams) is a rare, longer post by Seth Godin that gets down to the impact we can make. In related (good) news, there's a new, minority-focused co-working space to open in Durham, FYI.
• Krista Neher used a literally beautiful example to demonstrate how consistency, discipline and dedication matters in Entrepreneur Tip: The Last 10% Matters Most. Let's stick around long enough to see the magic happen.

Happy Saturday! I hope it's the best yet!